Phineas and Ferb's Dental Hygienosphere

May 10, 2013

We've seen the going-to-the-dentist-for-the-first-time books. We've heard some songs about brushing your teeth. We even remember seeing one very disturbing Ren & Stimpy episode where Ren is left with nothing but nerve endings when his teeth fall out. But Phineas & Ferb is now our favorite kids' media product for getting kids excited about teeth and teaching them a little about how interesting teeth are in the process.

In the episode called "Bully Bust," Phineas and Ferb, who spend their whole summer vacation inventing and discovering, build themselves a roller-coaster ride called the Dental Hygienosphere. It's stunning -- an entire tooth set up as a carnival ride where the riders visit each of the tooth's layers, or as they call it: "A thrill packed adventure through the exciting and colossal word of Dental hygiene!" Here's the transcript for the tooth ride part of the show.

Phineas: Hey Buford, you're here early.

Buford: The early bully catches the nerd, my friends

Baljeet: Hello.

Buford: And my point is made for me.

Isabella: Hi Phineas

Irving: I am here also.

Isabella: Whatcha doin'?

Phineas: Well our inspiration for today's activity manifested as we performed our morning ablutions.

Isabella: I love it when Phineas uses unnecessarily long words for common things like brushing your teeth and washing up.

Baljeet: Yes, it is gratifyingly erudite.

Isabella: It's not as cute when you do it.

Baljeet: (he sighs) I am cognizant of that fact.

Phineas: Introducing the Dental-Hygenosphere. A thrill packed adventure through the exciting and colossal word of Dental hygiene. Now who's with us?

Isabella and Baljeet: Me!

Irving: We!

Buford: It's a little preach-y for my taste, but count me in too.

Isabella: I'll help with the super structure.

Baljeet: Ooh! I will spray on the enamel coating.

Irving: And I'll sell balloons. (Isabella and Baljeet stare at Irving) Balloons in the shape of a tooth.

Baljeet: Oh, you mean tooth balloons.

Isabella: Balloons? Where'd you get balloons from?

Buford: Yeah, that's tooth balloons. And I'll lock it all down, and make sure it doesn't move.

Phineas: Alright, safety first, I guess. Knock yourself out.

Candace: (Looking out of her window) Let's see how the rookie's doing on his assignment. (Quirky Worky Song in the background) Hmm, not bad. I kinda like his style.

Irving: Tooth Balloons! Get your tooth balloons here! (Work on the project continues and Buford proceeds to secure it)

Phineas: Alright everybody, all aboard the tooth-buggies. Ferb even installed dental floss-themed seat belts. Isabella:' Mmm, minty.

Phineas and Isabella:Wa-Hoo! (Buford gets on the ride as it begins to move, but cCandace pulls him off)

Candace: Not so fast! I knew to! You're giving up, and just going on the ride for fun.

Buford: Not hardly. I swiped this bad-boy (His rivet gun) from the orthodontist's section, to cut off stuff sticking out of the ride that could snag a passing plane as they go along.

Candace: Listen, this thing ain't snag on a plane is just the tip of the bicuspid. It could shrink down to the size of a real tooth, and get lost in the grass. Or turn to ice, and melt into nothingness. For all you know it could turn into a giant Ducky Momo, and fly away. Are you prepared for all that?

Buford: ♪ Well... ♪

Candace: I dont need to hear the "We Prepare for Every Eventuality" song.

Buford: Fine, for the record though, it's the "Be Prepared for Every Eventuality" song. It's in the imperative tense. (On the ride)

Isabella: Wow, the periodontal level was awesome.

Phineas: Hang onto your retainers everyone as we travel through the pulp chamber, past the cementoenamel junction, and up, up up, to the apex of the crown.

Phineas and Isabella: Yeah! Woo-Hoo!

Baljeet: (To Ferb) You know this is tame compared to other roller coasters, but when you compare it to other dental themed rides, it is a rush! Tongue-in-cheek fascination for teeth? Maybe. But it's a rare kid who understands sarcasm while they're still watching Phineas and Ferb. We'll take it!

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